Welcome to My Evil Twin

Well hello, I'm an ass talker. Bang bang.

I've got a full day of shucking in my tummy.

I've seen the light... Hm... and it's not quite bright enough!

We may be similar, but I'm more good.

*gargle* We're twins, that's how sperm works.

You're my sister, pivot-ball-change.

My ash could do with more rouging.

Calling Butterfield, 310 under the G clickity click 66. Lemme take my ear out first.

Hello, I can't hear you. Because, I have a blood-clot painting behind me.

We're in the same room, so don't talk; I'm not listening.

You're going to spy and scrutinize old scurvy-port.

Here's some advice for you, sister. *dial tone*

Good ear in. This wig makes me look like a Clydesdale.

Profiling!

Turn around unnaturally and... done!

Oh, she's pretending to read the book of... Galoshans.

A guy wearing a lamb. Okay, we know where this is going. Not much talent, so just shmile.

This'll be tough, but try playing a virgin. Oh, that's right. Surprised to find a walnut down there.

Now will him over here with garbage-bag eyes.

Hey fruit roll-ups, nice arms. It's great, because you won't even know what to do with her when you get to her. Well, we'll see. We'll see how it plays out.

Actually, the only thing he's going to play is that xylophone of a chest.

If I don't understand your words, how can I understand your silences?

That's right, touch it! It's called girl-face.

Careful now, she doesn't have a gag reflex. You'll get carpal tunnel... for sure!

You really have zero instincts. Other than to assess her split-end over-processed mingy mange. And resheeding bangs. Oops.

Wow, this is an exceedingly large caliber.

Glad you didn't pierce your ears, that woulda been a waste of a hole.

Doesn't feel right, does it? Close your eyes and dream that he's not underage.

It's like overpowering an amputee, Mr. Snatch-and-grab.

Oh, white curtains likes making play-dough.

You face is the shape of second base.

*sniff* Fifsty cent... take your watch off, you'll never see it again!

Don't stop there, she doesn't know she's dating someone until she has a cock in her mouth.... *giggles* Shorry I said hooker wordsh. Enjoy your hand-job.

Oh you're the boo-hoo-hoos, all a dream? No one really likes you? Troubles? ... Man with balls?

And then he went over and ate all the wheat out of her pantry. Ended up great for me.

Hmm. Nonsense.